“iPad?”

“Yes, of course.  The name is critical.  This one builds off our popular iPod and iMac products.  It’s perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Yes, perfect.  It’s the perfect name.  When people hear ‘iPad’, they will think of clean design, monthly data-plan convenience, and product-marketing synergy.”

“That’s what you think of when you hear ‘iPad’ — sanitary design, monthly convenience, and PMS?”

“Of course!  PMS is the core of the iPad.”

“You still don’t get the joke?”

“Joke?  The only joke is how much our investors are going to love us after we introduce this revolutionary tablet computer.”

“So tablet computer — still don’t want to go with iTablet?”

“There’s nothing sexy about iTablet!  I’ve said that a thousand times.  iPad is sexy — it’s like the reason for sex.”

“Ok, moving on.  Can we terminate the AT&T exclusivity deal?”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

* * *

Steve Jobs, you’re a fucking moron.