Why You Are Stupid {.com} » Media

Kathy Ireland is Pregnant?

Davidson Gray — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:09:42 +0000

Watching the Oscars, haven’t seen Kathy Ireland outside of an infomercial for about 20 years, and I’m thinking she’s preggers. I Google it — nothing! WTF? She’s too thin to have that belly. She’s got to be pregnant.

photo credit: iheartstockings

Jake The Bachelor Is A Retard

Davidson Gray — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 03:07:10 +0000

Vienna, seriously? Vienna!? You idiot.

UPDATE: Dancing With The Stars!??! Come on.

iPad – Synergy, Revolution, Revenue, Cross Functional … Menstration Jokes

Davidson Gray — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:56:51 +0000

“And we’ll call it the iPad.”

“iPad?”

“Yes, of course. The name is critical. This one builds off our popular iPod and iMac products. It’s perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Yes, perfect. It’s the perfect name. When people hear ‘iPad’, they will think of clean design, monthly data-plan convenience, and product-marketing synergy.”

“That’s what you think of when you hear ‘iPad’ — sanitary design, monthly convenience, and PMS?”

“Of course! PMS is the core of the iPad.”

“You still don’t get the joke?”

“Joke? The only joke is how much our investors are going to love us after we introduce this revolutionary tablet computer.”

“So tablet computer — still don’t want to go with iTablet?”

“There’s nothing sexy about iTablet! I’ve said that a thousand times. iPad is sexy — it’s like the reason for sex.”

“Ok, moving on. Can we terminate the AT&T exclusivity deal?”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

* * *

Steve Jobs, you’re a fucking moron.

Kendra Wilkinson Gives Birth to Baby Boy … I Can’t Wait for the Picture / Photo Gallery!

Davidson Gray — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 11:55:45 +0000

Kendra Wilkinson, famous for sharing an 80-year-old bachelor with 3 other blonds, went into labor Wednesday night. Yippie. Hank Baskett IV, welcome to hell.

photo credit: Okada Shinoda

(not Kendra)

I can’t wait for Kendra’s next reality TV show, Blond Mom, where she raises her child on camera and all her male viewers tolerate the idiotic drivel that crashes out of her mouth in hopes of catching the briefest of nip-slips.

Then there will be the post-divorce cougar dating show where 20-year-olds that used to masturbate to her nude Playboy pictures try to win her heart through an agonizingly long series of games, contests, and quizzes. E! probably already has the rights.

But, before that, there will be the leaked Kendra Wilkinson sex tape, which probably already exists … Kendra and Tiger Woods knocking boots on the 19th. Hell, he likes blonds, and I don’t think a Playboy bunny has stepped forward yet, so it’s fairly likely.

OMG Michael Jackson Is Dead?

Davidson Gray — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:54:46 +0000

Well, first off, Bill O’Reilly has a point. I’m not sure why black people are so keen on this guy — he went pretty far out of his way to be white. Sure, skin disease, but come on. He had surgery to give himself a 10-year-old white-girl nose and an 8-year-old white-boy mouth. That’s not exactly racial pride.

But the real issue is, can we please talk about something else? I’m sick of the memorials and montages and music. I know this tree stump is just the beginning. Let’s move on. Let’s let the grieving happen. Let’s let our children back on the street now that it is safe.

Glenn Beck Is a Common Whore

Davidson Gray — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 13:37:37 +0000

Let’s get this straight: Glenn Beck plays a character. Glenn Beck shares his character’s opinion, not his personal opinions. Glenn Beck just wants your money. So he’ll fellate your ego enough so that you think you have a reason to be racist, alarmist, or sexist, but he’ll never challenge your opinions unless it’s an opinion contrary to those of his money-grubbing character.

Sounds familiar? Yeah, he’s the same as Stephen Colbert. But Colbert is on Comedy Central. Glenny was on CNN until joining the rest of the characters at Fox News. Colbert is entertainment. Beck is presented as news.

photo credit: SamJUK

And as a news reporter, it’s time to man-up. Glenn’s been saying that Obama is going to take our guns loud enough for all the freaks to hear. And freaks love listening to other freaks confirm their freaky ideas. But if Don Imus can get canned for calling women basketball players “nappy-headed hos” then Beck deserves some blame for the shit he’s stirring.

Why? Because these accusations fuel vigilantism. Media Matters writer, Eric Boehlert, writes: O’Reilly and Fox News will have more right-wing vigilantism to explain. They’re stirring up the nut jobs. They’re fueling the fool fire. And by doing so, people are starting to die. It’s time for Beck to move on.